I, like many others caught in the trap of commitments, deadlines, and the pressure to “win”, find myself caught in life’s vise. It is relatively easy to articulate the ways everything constantly overwhelms my soul. The list always seems to grow. Long days have turned into norms, with regular excursions into the early dawn hours. An unending source of energy seems driven by the knowledge of tasks waiting for resolution, contracts demanding the attention of someone’s, anyone’s eyes, and problems cry out for a solution. I wish I could say with confidence that I was up to the tasks baying at my door. As I struggle to comprehend, I realize I harbor neither fear nor confidence. There is little arrogance or sense of defeat. I know the tasks are unending. I know I cannot do them by myself. Yet I lie buried, trying to carry my load and then some.
The lingering impact of this state of being is an emotional mix that includes the following.
– Each of us is as buried as we realize. Even the carefree are drowning in their way.
– Hope, happiness, and peace are God’s triplets
– Just because one is drowning, it does not mean that death is imminent
For me, this strange, albeit weird, state of being carries a profound appreciation for the role God plays in your life and mine. When I hear Divinity’s conversation; “I tell prisoners, ‘Come on out. You're free!’ and those huddled in fear, ‘It's all right. It's safe now.’ There'll be foodstands along all the roads, picnics on all the hills.” (Isaiah 49.9) I know God is talking about me. When I see God’s paintbrush across the western sky, I can feel Divinity’s embrace. Even as I walk through the deserted streets late at night to an empty apartment, I know I am part of a wonderful family that loves me.
I find myself buried, but not as Evil wants me to believe. God’s love will always bury me. God’s embrace will always comfort me. God’s presence will always lead me home.
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