Sometimes one get hit. You do not see it coming. Even in hindsight, there are were no missing signs that warned or prepared you. Out of the blue, from one’s blindside, without a sound or any other warning for your senses, you are hit. You may not even realize the full impact of what just happened, but with time, the yellow and black that emerges from the bruises on one’s soul and heart show themselves.
As I think about a recent event, I still cannot find the warning signs or cause. In blunt, candid terms, “they return my good with evil, they return my love with hate.” (Psalm 109.5) If I let my candor continue, I would say, “wow, that hurt.”
In a season where we are inundated with the reminders of the holiday season filled with blessings, I would offer the following.
Feel the pain, all of it. Do not try to deny or put it away. Let it seep in, deeply and fully. In the darkness, remember the moments of love, acceptance, and hope that you have hidden within. Pull them out and embrace each slowly and completely. It is in this paradox that I hear myself being called to purposeful living.
Open the heart to the possibility that there is more than the immediate darkness that is overwhelming everything. The alternatives may be difficult, nigh impossible to see. As I struggle to look, I hear a gentle whisper to let my eyes drift beyond the boundaries that define my horizon, and see what is already within my reach.
In advance, be charitable to one’s self. In my case, I found myself semi-paralyzed for a time. As I emerge from it, I realize that while I feel weak I know I am stronger for the experience. Being able to move started with a simple forgiveness to my soul for my lack movement. Yes, ideally I could have risen above the situation or taken the shot and kept on moving, but I did not. Accepting, compassionate, and resolved are pieces of charity.
Time for action.
