A friend and I were supposed to catch up. We had set a time. We knew the place. I knew it was going to be close as I had an appointment that ran right up to our meeting time. I assumed we would sort everything when we were on the move.
I suspected that things were not going to work when I did not hear from him in the afternoon before our meeting. As I waited, the two text messages and email sat unanswered. Even as my meeting with friends just prior ran long, I knew it was not going to be a problem. There was little chance that he was going to meet up at the appointed time.
I did not hear from him for three days. In the end, the message was simple and direct. “Apologies. The evening got very bad very early.”
I know he has a dark side. I do not see it very often, but I know that it is there. As I reflected on the question of linking up again, I found myself reading about God’s choice in the same situation; “With a fistful of enemies in one hand and a fistful of haters in the other…” (Psalm 21.8)
There is more to the story. In David’s case, the answer was clear. As I thought about it I realized that the question was, as many do, spinning towards something I could see in the mirror. How close was I willing to be to the dark side that is within me? Was I willing to admit it existed? Denial did not seem to be an option, though it is my usual response.
The fact that you and I have parts of “who” we are that we do not like is something that I do not willingly talk about. Maybe I should. The reality that my inside me is less than perfect is obvious in the middle of the night, yet I want to deny the its existence with the dawn.
Close or too close? Life asks; then waits.