In the midst of a corporate tussle, shared values of collaboration, trust, and transparency seemed to be a long way away. Mentally I know that these are values we share. Conceptually I can see the high ground, the road we should strive to be taking. However, that is not the one that we are on! It is hard, seemingly impossible, to understand how anyone in the mix wants to work for a common good, respect and honor the intent others bring to the group, or share openly.
With the words that ring hollow, deadlines that come and go, and manipulation that everyone knows is being played, I cannot see a way of out the mess. Part of me wants to withdraw. The current process ensures we will never reach our professed destination. Even positive steps along the way will be hidden due to the mutual mistrust and gamesmanship. It is a situation one frequently gets stuck in without an exit. I find it hard to know how to contribute in a positive way that will make a difference. I also find it problematic to exit.
In the chaos, I was discussion an outside view with someone above it all. He had no idea of the particulars I was struggling with. I did not think it was particularly important. I did want to know his view of our options and priorities.
What I heard caught me by surprise. Without touching the chaos, he spoke of meetings, unanswered questions, and commitments. As I listened the fog in the trenches thinned and I could see a way forward. It was as if I was in an old story of knights and great battles. I could see what we were trying to defend. Old words resonated; “His sacred mountain, breathtaking in its heights – earth’s joy. Zion Mountain looms in the North, city of the world-King.” (Psalm 48.2) I knew what was at stake. My calling and actions were clear.
I left muttering. What seemed far away was hidden in the midst. It was as close as it was far.