In the back of my mind, I can remember a time when I was “tall”. It lasted for several years, mostly in my teens. Everything began to change when I arrived at Oregon State. Soon I found myself playing small forward and at times even the guard position in pick-up basketball. The move was primarily driven by my size, or its relative averageness. Even with compelling evidence, my mind refused to acknowledge what my heart knew was true.
Over the years that followed, I have come to appreciate the emotions that follow domination. As others remind me, it does not feel good! One feels as if there is an overwhelming condescension controlling one’s soul and voice. Left unaddressed, resentment, anger, and alienation soon follow. The emotional residue that is left is heart wrenching, especially when others believe that you were the cause.
As situations and individuals dominate my life, I realize that is even more than dominates my soul. In addition to the ugly side of life, beauty, wonder, and awe are equally dominating! I recently sat on the rooftop vista at Southbridge; overwhelmed by the changing skyline and the beauty nature was painting as a backdrop. As I reflected on the forces dominating my senses and soul, I realized that there were acts of compassion, expressions of beauty, and wonderful moments of awe that continued to transform me from the inside out.
To anyone that has felt the negative of being dominated, my sympathies are with you. If I had a personal hand in the experience, I want to express my apologies and request your forgiveness. I wish I could undo the moments. In the stead I would offer you a replacement similar to the ones I have experienced with nature’s beauty, the touch of friendship and love, and the unwarranted gifts of grace.
If this setting, I hear the Psalmist warning a big differently. “Fierce you are, and fearsome! Who can stand up to your rising anger?” (Psalm 76.7) Divinity loves you and me. While hating evil and all its actions, we are loved.