One is raised with a longing. The specifics vary but each carries of thirst impregnated early in their lives. I have friends who love the thrill of the ride. There is nothing that they desire more than the excitement of living on disaster’s edge. They started with small things and now it pervades their lives in ways that even they do not understand. There are others that I know who live for the fight. They say that they avoid conflict but everything in their choices, actions, and behavior says otherwise. First it was verbal, then physical, and now any conflict will suffice. And then there was a group that sought affirmation. They were never sure of themselves or their actions. Everything was a plea for a hug or a signal that they were accepted, loved, and cherished as part of something, anything bigger than how they saw themselves.
I wondered where I fell for years. On any given day or week I could easily qualify for any of the three plus a few more that I haven’t even begun to describe. As I have aged there is one thing that I find I need, long for, and seek before anything else. I need to understand why things are what they are. How they got there. Why they stay there. I am no idea why this is critical, rather just that it is. I have come to know and to trust that with the quest come knowledge and responsibility. You can set out on the journey, but be careful! The results will change you even more than you could ever imagine.
Wisdom makes an observation but doesn’t bring the warning along with it. “If you love wisdom, you’ll delight your parents, but you’ll destroy their trust if you run with whores.” (Proverbs 29.3) On this path you will see that truth is different from evil, knowledge is a burden that must be carried, and “real” wisdom will change you from the inside out!
My eyes are focused and the journey remains to be traveled. Enjoy the ride.