I love children, for many reasons. One is the lingering memory of what it was to live without fear. They know how to live from the inside out. Fear is not part of the equation, at least not for long! Front hanging upside down trusting that Dad’s arms will protect you, to skating with abandoned in a parking garage, and even to trusting that it is ok to talk with a stranger, life is clearly for living.
Somewhere along the line of time, you and I discovered the reality of fear. Uncertainty knocked us back. Doubts wrapped his arms around us. Events conspired to create the possibility of fear, uncertainty, and doubts within our soul and we were forever changed. I doubt anyone ever willingly decided to let fear grow within her/his hearts and minds. The harsh reality is that with age comes fear.
Looking back, it seems that I woke up one day and turned to everyone and everything around me and made an announcement. “Dad, Mom, God; I am sorry to be the messenger. Life has taught me well. At the heart of what I have learned, I have discovered that I cannot trust anyone or anything. I need to do things on my own.”
For most of my life, I have lived as if my decision as a child was an infallible truth. In case anyone has any doubts, let me be clear. I was wrong. I was very, very wrong. Without comment or criticism about a choice anyone else has made, with age, Life has taught me that I cannot conquer fear on my own. Fear is bigger, stronger, and more powerful than I will ever be. Fear is overwhelming and dominant.
Lucky for me, Life did not stop teaching me. There is a refuge filled with hope. David’s prayer is my prayer; “Keep me safe, O God, I’ve run for dear life to you.” (Psalm 16.1)
I do not know what is best for you. I know that in running to God, I discovered that my fear was replaced with hope.
