Candid, honest, forthright feedback is one of the most difficult things to give when we do not share trust with another. Accomplishing the same goal with a person that you know, love, and implicitly trust may not be easy, but it is easier. Frequently we assume that the job will be difficult because of the topic; actually, I believe it is the degree of difficulty relates very closely to the level of honest dialogue already occurring between the two individuals.
How much do I really want to get honest feedback from those who are close? Am I willing to face up to the weaknesses inherent in my approach to life and solving problems? Can I deal with the emotional waterfall that often comes with admitting that something I did was not perfect, or at least top tier?
I would like to believe that I am willing to accept any, and probably even all feedback. I know that I am fooling myself, but it does feel good! However, I think practice suggest otherwise. I want to argue with those who suggest that I was not perfect. The second conclusion is just as blunt. Anyone that believes there might be a better way than the one I took, clearly did not see everything that I did. Finally, who are they to give me comments given the flaws in their life?
The key I find is that when any of these feeling occur, I am not interested in doing things better. I want it my way! I do not care if the other is better. I know what is best!
I can be so wrong.
Feedback, honest, in-depth, candid to the core feedback is one of the most valuable gifts anyone can give you. Solomon notes the relationship that exists in these circumstances.
“If you correct those who care about life, that’s different – they’ll love you for it!” (Proverbs 9.8)
Ironically, those who love us the most are willing to give us the most feedback, especially God. The question is; do we want to live life to the max?