“I don’t trust in weapons; my sword won’t save me – but it’s you, you who saved us from the enemy; you who made those who hate us lose face.” Psalm 44.6
Every so often, occasionally, say once a day at least, I find myself in some type of fight. As I grow older the number of physical events grow fewer, however the number of verbal fights grows faster than I am willing to admit. My old excuses for fights were stress, fatigue, and injustice. This blanket of excuses covered just about any situation; anyone was responsible except me. I fought, just as I do many other things in my life, to win at all costs. As I applied a discipline remedy to the problem, I always believed happiness, positive events, and good times offset the apparent need to joust.
Yesterday dispelled any pretense that positive life events could prevent fights. Yesterday confirmed my discipline processes do not work. The puzzle about fight why, where, and when continued.
This Psalm highlights Israel’s problems. God appeared to be hiding, enemies were ready to attack, and Israel is lying in the ditch. Where is God?
Quickly reading the Psalm, I found myself lamenting in harmony with Israel. Where is God who promises to be our protector and guide? Why are we suffering such humiliation?
The key is hiding in words of frustration and hope. What are fights all about? Answer, losing face.
Pride and selfishness is the center of my fights. The issue of losing face is the mask reflecting this center is almost every situation. I hate the situation where someone puts me down. My anger boils when others try to humiliate me, especially in front of an audience!
I forget about God in these situations. There is an answer, yet I don’t want to remember. God gives me the gift of love. The price he paid for this gift was the worst humiliation and injustice possible.
My fights always occur when I forget God’s gift and my worth. We are the purpose of God’s sacrifice. Always remember.