Like most individuals, there is an inner circle of individuals close to my heart. For those that I see frequently, I am confident that each knows that s/he is important to me. Our interactions tell a story, emotionally and physically. It is easy to feel the tangibility. One knows without having to talk about it.
The challenge I struggle with is the individuals close to my heart that I do not often see. I am not sure what the answer is. I do know that face to face is always better than virtual. I also know that virtual helps fill in the gap. I found out that one in the circle is coming back to Singapore next week. In our message exchange I acknowledged that it would be better to wait than to rush ahead.
As I reflect and anticipate, I realize the following.
The distance between us is equally in my mind and heart. My sense of distance and aloneness starts with my heart. Regardless of the facts, I feel as if my voice was captured by the Psalmist; “God, don’t shut me out; don’t give me the silent treatment, O God.” (Psalm 83.1)
Acting on one’s feeling changes everything. When I reach out to someone that is not here, regardless of the method, I feel different. My emotional sense of loss does not go away yet it is different. It is the action fills in part of the void that is there.
Patience and trust that time will heal the void creates a space where one can remain present, intentional and engaged with life. The alternative is a form of paralysis which does not help anyone. Life has a way of filling the space and creating opportunities where we can make a difference.
With one, the anticipation is a soothing balm to the void. For others, I realize I have an opportunity today to reach out, say hello, and let them know I care while I get on with the process of living. I can make a difference, for others as well as myself.