Sometimes things happen, forever changing one’s perspective. I can think of a few; illnesses, reconstruction surgeries, and business outcomes determined by deceit. There are more, especially if we added yours to the list! Each has, through experience changed my viewpoint. The result is the following.
I see the events as personal. With each, there is an emotional component that is as prominent as the intellectual viewpoint. I cannot think or discuss the event without the emotional. It may be an academic possibility to another. For me, it will always be personal.
Deep learnings emerged from the experience at a cost. The cost is often measured across multiple dimensions. Self reflection (often brutal), relationships (frequently damaged), and painful consequences (many made by my hands). Other dimensions include the way we see things, before versus after, odds of these events occurring, in my life and others, as well as the price paid by anyone going through a similar event.
As I reflect, I realize there was a time where I wished others would be haunted by their action. I wanted Karma to invoke the ultimate response in each life. I pleaded with Divinity to take action, often paraphrasing the words of the Psalmist; “Knock the breath right out of them, so they’re gasping for breath, gasping, ‘God.’” (Psalm 83.15, 16)
While I believe in Divine judgment and exercising ultimate accountability, I wish I could unwind my wishes of the past. My commitment now is “never again” will I wish this on another.
For each evil move I see in another, when I look in the mirror I see two, often three by my hand.
When I was young, I thought I walked alone. I know now that I walk in a larger story, part of a family that includes all of us.
Life, yours and mine, is full of pain. I do not want to add to anyone’s pain. I do not want to be a part of making life more difficult. My goal is to help others along the way in ways that are helpful to them.