It was interesting watching a child expert explain to new parents just what their child words really meant. The scene was one where the kid was out of control. Screaming tantrums were just the beginning! The kid was demanding, verbally and physically, attention awhile the parents were determine to “win” the battle by withholding whatever he demanded. The expert was gently explaining the real meaning.
While not assuming that I know anything about this subject other than having been a parent with two, relatively, collegial and communicative girls, the expert’s advice did make common sense. From the short video the logic was obvious to any parent. Yet I found myself wondering aloud if I am just as unaware of the words that I hear including my own!
I quietly sit in the fleeing darkness of an early gray morning, remembering. I can hear others inviting me into friendship during our last conversation. I can listen to the candid revelations about their fears when they think of the future and their relationships. I find myself talking about my own fears in ways that I have never acknowledged. There are not new conversations! I have heard the words before. I have stored their meaning. I have had many things but have never linked the heart and the head stuff together in ways that I truly understood.
This morning a tough question rested without answer. I found myself listening to John’s words – “This is the crisis we're in: God-light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness. They went for the darkness because they were not really interested in pleasing God.” (John 3.19) And I wondered.
Is it that I don’t know, haven’t understood, and maybe were not aware or was it my choice? Did I ignore out of ignorance or fear? Did I avoid unknowingly or because I had my doubts? If I knew then what I know now would I be any more certain about what I would do?
Starting today, at the top, what is my answer to God?