Knowledge

What would you do if you knew the person closest to you didn’t believe?  Imagine a player on a sports team who thought the team couldn’t win.  Once or twice a season a member of an English team speaks his mind.  It is a sure sign of being the player will be traded, demoted, or simply fired.  It is the same with politics.  Express you doubts openly and your loyalty and participation is thrown into doubt.  There is no middle ground.  You have to act like your team will win the next election, secure the league title, and have a good chance at winning the Championship in order to stay part of the circle.  Yet the knowledge of the truth lies just beneath the surface.  Without uttering a word the message permeates life itself.  But we can’t win.  Yet we haven’t gotten a winning message.  It seems that this isn’t the year.  Words are thought, occasionally written in private diaries, but never expressly left in the open.
 
The scene wasn’t very different in Jesus’ day.  The disciplines knew they carried their doubts, fears, and uncertainties.  They were outwardly confident while inwardly unsure.  Jesus knew the story and took an extreme moment of genuine confusion about his motives to clarify exactly what he knew.  “Jesus became explicit: ‘Lazarus died.  And I am glad for your sakes that I wasn't there.  You're about to be given new grounds for believing.  Now let's go to him.’”  (John 11.14, 15) 
 
When doubts are confronted the question is always “what’s next”?  The only thing one can say with certainty is that there is active curiosity and wonder on the part of the person asking the question.  I find my openness to be a part of my doubt.  I know nothing will change.  I am certain things will continue to be pear shaped.  Yet there is a certain element of uncertainty.
 
It is in this moment God can give us experiences of belief, trust, and hope.  Life uncertainties are opportunities for God.  The ingredient needed is our wonder.  Is it here today?