The situation had gone from bad to worse. There were no indications that anything was going to change for the better in the near future. I had not anticipated the course of events. As time stretched on, I could feel the fear growing within me. Was this the makings of a replay of a major disaster? Was there anything I could do besides run for my life?
As I struggled in the knowledge that I had not signed up for this, I realized that I was sinking deeper and deeper into a dark space. In the easy things appeared difficult. Regular obstacles that I usually overcome with ease looked overwhelming! This was an ugly situation getting worse with each passing moment.
“Do you realize how much I implicitly trust you?”
It was an odd question, without any apparent context. The first time I heard it, I took it as words of encouragement. The second time caused me to pause, but not long. Now that I was hearing it for the third time, I stopped myself. Did I?
I know a God that trusts that I will bring compassion, community, and mercy to life in my communities. Even with the knowledge that I have, am, and will continue to fail with some of the opportunities I am given, Divinity still places this trust in me.
The question lingers, “Do you realize how much I implicitly trust you?” I realize that up until this moment the answer was “no, I did not but now I do.” I answered the question with the only words that made sense at the time.”
“I hear you. I hope that my actions going forward will ensure that you never have to ask me that question again.”
As I reflect, I realize that something within responded to the question with greater candor. No, I did not. I do now. Thank-you. “You know me inside and out, you hold me together, you never fail to stand me tall in your presence so I can look you in the eye.” (Psalm 41.12) I see now.