Sometimes it is hard to know how and why one looks at those around you. I know this sounds messy and complex but the questions are quite simple. Why do I look at you the way I do? How do I look at you?
I find I see people differently when I think they “deserve” the situation they are in. If it is fair, then rewards are ok. If they have perpetuated something I consider wrong then the natural consequences which come are deserved. In both cases I respond to their situations differently. No matter how much I want to hold onto compassion I find myself hesitating to extend a helping hand. After all, they earned what is now theirs. I have trained my heart to give a conditional response. Behavior I agree with, positive or negative, I affirm. Something I am uncertain about I try to ignore. When I disagree, ah the response is clear and direct, I let them suffer and if they are not suffering I reach out with a thorn.
Ironically I have come to expect my God to look beyond my actions and think of my potential. I don’t want justice! I don’t want accountability! It is almost impossible to imagine how my heart would cry in the pain and in my confession I would know God was going to let me be. I need God’s love and sympathy. I cannot deal with justice. I want something unconditional because I will never be able to earn my niche with Divinity.
If this is what I expect of God can I respond any differently to those around me? When “poignant cries reverberate all through Moab, gut-wrenching sobs as far as Eglaim, heart-racking sobs all the way to Beer-elim,” (Isaiah 15.8) is there any response other than heart driven compassion? If Carli or Whitney were in distress is there any other response than love driven action? If Cherry were hurting, even if it was self inflicted, I would do everything I could to help. If it were you could I do anything differently?
2021 Copyright © Daily Whispers.