At different stages of my life I have made some horrible choices. There should be no doubt. The choices, in any light, reflected one focused on his agenda with little thought for others. I wish I could say it only happened once. Candidly I made multiple mistakes, often repeating the same short-sighted choice again and again. For a time it seemed as if I was caught in a spiral, determined to abandon everything my parents and life had taught. I was locked in a path to hell of my own creation.
I was, for a long time, convinced of my own destruction. As hard as I might try, with all the discipline I could muster, and even with a willingness to accept help offered by those looking out for my best interest, I continued to fail. I was, especially in the quietness of the dark night, convinced of my doom.
I enjoy watching people. The interactions, choices, and behaviors are incredible. The only sadness which comes with it occurs when I recognize my distress in his or her eyes, especially if they are young. I wish I could share the Hope I now carry with me. I desperately long to give them the gift God’s Spirit gave me. I don’t know if, when I can do this, but I am alert and willing to be part of any solution.
The reality is, when I discovered God, that “there'll be no darkness for those who were in trouble. Earlier he [God] did bring the lands of Zebulun and Naphtali into disrepute, but the time is coming when he'll make that whole area glorious—the road along the Sea, the country past the Jordan, international Galilee. The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light. For those who lived in a land of deep shadows—light! sunbursts of light!” (Isaiah 9.1, 2) The light, then and now, is the same – wonderful compassionate mercy and love for one and all. God knows no boundaries, there are no limits.
We are only locked if we lock our self.
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