Shifting rooms, especially under the medicated spell of morphine every four hours, is at best confusing. My transition from ICU to a more traditional medical-surgery floor was yet another bewildering step. What was I supposed to do? Who was I accountable to? Could I live up to expectations; what were they anyways?
In hindsight, the questions are, at best, idiotic! I was not supposed to do anything. My role and responsibility was to simply rest with hope. I was not accountable to anyone other than myself. Surprisingly, you and I are always primarily accountable to self. Everyone else is an extension of from our self outwards. Expectations are a variation on guilt. While useful at time, they should never be the ultimate driver of the moment and the decisions at hand.
Again, I found myself looking at Peter. The unknown was confronting him. Strangers were at his door. The confusion from his recent dream was still overwhelming his senses. The ideal circumstance would be the reality of time, space, and a bit of reflection! Just like my day, it was not going to happen. People were here. Unknown, and uncertainty had already introduced themselves. The only question was Peter's next step. The answer? It seems that it was rather simple. “Peter invited them in and made them feel at home.” (Acts 10.23)
I found myself invited by God into an extended period of quiet silence. God's invitation to me in the middle of the normal activities of a busy hospital was let go, rest, and be.
It did not take me as long to relax as I thought it would. I continue to find that the wonder of “truth”, especially God given truth, is that you find truth travels with several friends. In this case, I discovered peace, comfort, and a sense of being in space that God made holy. God was doing God's stuff in my head as well as my heart, inside to out.
I am discovering the “next” of our lives often begins with out willingness to experience God's embrace. It is wonderful.
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