“I was right on the cliff-edge, ready to fall, when God grabbed and held me.” Psalm 118.7
Everyday is a mini heaven and hell. It is hell standing on the edge of collapse, heaven with you lean back into God’s arms. I do not think my experience is unique, rather it is common to all of us if we have the courage to step back and face ourselves.
People attack at every opportunity. People, even friends, say and do things that hurt and challenge. While pain can be a way to gain, it is far more common to react defensively and in anger. Some of the attack is good nature fun, other malicious and full of intent to cause harm. As the sting occurs, I find it difficult to distinguish between the two. I also find myself sending small darts back, driven by my insecurities and fears.
I found my personal expectations on my ability to deliver. I expect to win and win big in every situation. I really do not care what the subject or challenge is; I want to win! Winning, coming in first, doing the best that I can are interchangeable meanings. I base my energy and confidence on my abilities. I often begin the day knowing I am on the edge of failure.
There is tension between my belief and hope of reflecting love and grace and the reality of day to day relationships in the streets. Life is a dogfight. Life is about people tugging robes from and between each other. Life is about doing what I, we, think is right. How does unconditional grace play out in this experience? Can I love people as God loves me in every situation? Is it possible that I can be to others as God is to me? Is it reasonable?
Everyday I am on the cliff-edge, ready to fall. Everyday God is there, ready to grab and hold me tight. Everyday I have an opportunity to be on the edge in His arms.
I love living life on the edge with God!