As I walked by an art-house theatre, a movie poster captured how I was feeling with my summary in a word, pickpocket. I felt as if I was being fleeced, robbed, and even cheated of what I was trying to hold closest to my heart.
The longer I stared at myself in the glass reflection in front of the poster, the more clarity emerged from the experiences driving the emotions playing out in my mind. It was unfair. It was evil coming into my life, touching, trying to shape my thoughts and actions. It was the manifestation of a quiet and unseen battle which was clearly leaving tangible scars across my heart.
At times I wonder what I expect life to give me. In the clarity of the image in front of me, I thought of those suffering through life’s real horrors. I found myself remembering those who suffered and died for things and principles worth fighting to defend. The first question in my case was not why but how. How would I respond and then why?
I love questions where my heart and body know the answer before I have a chance to think. The answer is always found at the core – because I was first loved, do I ever have a reason not to love? Because I was accepted without reservation when I had done nothing to deserve this acceptance, how could I ever not accept another? The list is endless, and yet it always ends with Peter’s punch line. “Because you kept on believing, you’ll get what you’re looking forward to: total salvation.” (1 Peter 1.9)
I wake today refreshed and inspired. Yes, my pockets may be lighter than I thought they were, but I will have a new opportunity to share, gift, and act. Each will, in its own way, replenish my pockets and ensure my heart is full. Persevering is not primarily for others. Persevering is a way of feeding and strengthening my soul. It is the doorway to my opportunity to live and experience the best life offers each day.