“God, I’m not trying to rule the roost, I don’t want to be king of the mountain. I haven’t meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans.” Psalm 131.1
Sometimes, just every once in a long while, I protest too much. My inability to see how I really am takes over and I express my innocence. I actually believe we all do it. We want to feel good about our efforts; we want to believe that we are doing ok. We probably are doing ok in life, just not as good as we think or would like to believe!
The irony is that we join the Psalmist in telling God something that He knows better than we do. We express our views of ourselves in ways that only serve to deceive our own heart and mind. God knows us from the inside out. God sees all the surroundings and how we react. Besides knowing our very thoughts, I do not think we are that difficult to read! Yet, I express my own view, probably protesting too much about my efforts to control my life, my work, and the family. I want to believe that I do not meddle unless it is absolutely necessary, or fantasize beyond what I call good, deep planning. I like pulling the wool over my own eyes; it feels good unless I really think about it!
There is only one solution. Say it as it really is!
“God, I am not trying to do it my way yet I am. I continue to take charge, I want to be in control of my life, and I try to influence others way beyond what you call me to do. God, I am sorry for doubting your love and acceptance. I realize my actions say all this and more. I thank you for knowing that I would be this way and giving me your grace before, during, and after. I accept you in my life. God, I am yours. What will you have me do and be?”
God accepts and loves, always.