The scene unfolded as if it was following an unwritten script. Words flew powerfully, effortlessly, seemingly ignorant of the pain that would surely follow. The words themselves were innocent pawns of two individuals totally out of control. Anger was winning the day. Self was king. Nobody counted in this play. Other than the protagonists, nothing seemed to be a factor. Community, even family, was irrelevant. You could predict the ending even in the beginning.
I still do not know who provoked whom. I am not sure it really matters. I do not understand what brought the two individuals to this state of being. Given the outcome, nothing could justify the decisions by either party. I walked away filled with sadness. It is never good to witness human brutality to another, regardless of the circumstance. At the end, it was simply one self-god versus another. There were no victors. Nobody walked away unchanged. Everyone that participated or witnessed the scene was weaker because of the experience.
The outcome is inevitable when self is at war. Even as I stood by, I knew it was not God’s way. God is never idle. God never just watches. Freedom may take precedence in the moment, “but if all you're after is making trouble, playing with fire, go ahead and see where it gets you. Set your fires, stir people up, blow on the flames, but don't expect me [God] to just stand there and watch. I'll hold your feet to those flames.” (Isaiah 50.11)
Today is an opportunity to move beyond the losing proposition of fighting with self. We can take on a greater battle. We can confront self with community. We can respect status and ego with compassionate mercy. We can be lights in the middle of the day’s darkness. We can let God provoke us into making a difference for others and for our soul. Everything hinges on our response to the ordinary. Today I know I will find beauty there. I will rediscover awe. I will find my calling and niche. I will let God provide me.
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