“God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand, I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.” Psalm 139.1
Right now, I know there are people around the world looking, discussing, and evaluating my performance and capabilities. I wish that I could tell myself that my awareness of this scrutiny was a touch of paranoia but too many people have confirmed my nightmare. The pressure is on! Am I the right guy for the job? Did I deliver the things I said I would in January? Are the successful results clearly documented and visible to others? Do I have the ability and energy to take the team to the next performance level?
I sense that we all fear what people will think and know of us if they investigated the intimate details of our life. On a good day, it is scary. On a bad day, I do not even want to think or imagine what this would be like! I have a good idea, in those moments where denial is not raging with a full head of steam, where I fail and lack abilities to succeed. My awareness drives how I behave in front of others. Failure and weakness is not something I like to talk about, even to my allies or closest friends.
Do I really want God to investigate my life? Do I really want God to know the intimate details? Am I willing to open myself up to detailed and constant scrutiny?
Yes, yes, and yes!
God told each of us that he knew what we were like even before we were born. God tells us that he understands all the ways we will fail and continue to fail in the future. God knows us inside and out! God loves us more intensely because of this knowledge. God forgave anything that we might do in the future at the event we know as Calvary.
I want to be totally open for a simple reason; when I am I see God at work in my life!