I have a hard time recognizing some things. They are not always complicated. Even as I write belatedly, I am still wondering how I missed the fact that I was pushing myself too hard. Looking back, the signs were obvious. A simple count of the hours I actually slept in the past week would have been a starting point. For whatever reason, well intentioned of course, I missed the normal markers. The harsh reality came when I laid down for a short power-nap. Five hour later, I woke up for a bit only to go back to sleep shortly after that. Somehow I stumbled through the day and made my flight the following morning. As soon as I arrived, I went to bed for another 36 hours. A short meal, and another twelve hours of sleep, and I think I am getting back to a place where I can think of functioning.
The process of recovery and waking up with a sense of rest leaves me with open question. Do I recognize everything I should in my life? The potential areas of interest are endless. Do I recognize God at work? Am I aware of the gifts of others?
Candidly, in my best moments I realize I often miss the answers. In a reflection on one of David’s prayers, his question fit in with the overall theme. “My question: What are God-worshipers like? Your answer: Arrows aimed at God’s bull’s-eye.” (Psalm 25.12)
The surprising sense of rest was similar to the awareness that I did not anticipate God’s answer.
In order to take the shot, one has to let an arrow go. You do not always hit the bull’s eye. Factors can come into play, but that is not the critical aspect. You have to take the shot in order to be something. In the process you learn, change, and get stronger.
I can see some tough situations just ahead of me. As unplanned as it was, the sleep and reflection has put me into a position to see. It’s time to let the arrow fly.