For longer than I care to admit, I have struggled and wrestled with life’s demons in the darkness of my soul. Several months ago the combination of life, chaos, and outcomes of my own creation overwhelmed me. By the time I came to terms with what was going on, I found myself in a stark wilderness. It was barren and dry. Even as those that cared for me tried to help, I pushed myself deeper into the silence of that land.
I have come to realize yet again that I am not alone. Paraphrasing a friend’s observation, the death of a relationship is painful, impacting one’s life in ways that one rarely understands. The death of one’s god rips at one’s soul in ways that shreds one’s self. I found myself watching others struggle in this wilderness. The only response I could muster was one of tears. I was unable to help, unable to act, unable to reach out in comfort or solidarity.
As I walked with a friend in London I rediscovered the edge of the wilderness. I could see hope in ways that were familiar and yet new. I have been struck by the truth in the words of a song we sang that evening as we cried out to the God each of us knew or wanted to know…”Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.
In the reality of all the ways we see and define our Gods, I am here to say on behalf of many; I confess that I lose sight of you. I acknowledge that I do not understand your many manifestations. In this statement of sadness and hope, I also admit that Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me. God, you come by many names. I can see you acting in many faith systems. In everything one thing remains; Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me
I do not know what today brings. I only know God remains.