Show me what you have got.
It is a challenge I feel almost every day of my life. I do not think I am unique. I look around and see others frantically trying to prove their ability, insight, and understanding. The challengers are not always hostile; on many occasions it is simply the need at hand. A customer is looking for help or a senior manager is looking for a report. Whatever the driver might be, the need to perform and execute is a common thread running through our lives. From children to friends, colleagues to superiors, those in authority to strangers, one needs to deliver.
There is an uncertainty that haunts all of us, even when we are confident. Life likes to remind me that those closest are often the ones with the greatest doubts and fears. While I do not think it is intentional, the result is that pressure to deliver and be there grows as one moves closer to one’s heart. It is as if we fear the individuals closest to us.
I have been reminded of expectations that were and are not being met. I can feel the disappointment as well as the pressure to perform. As much as I want to be all that others hope and need me to be, it is unlikely that everyone is going to be satisfied. In the reflection of coming up short, I find myself examining my own expectations. Am I willing to give others the same space I so desperately need? Am I willing to accept the help that is being offered without conditions or does it need to be in the way I prescribe?
It seems that I am not the only one with these questions. Others before me have had the courage to vocalize their uncertainty and doubts. In their writings, I find a new voice; “Parade your power, O God, the power, O God, that made us what we are.” (Psalm 68.28)
In looking up from the page, I watch nature’s beauty and power. Being willing to see is step one.