The potential apartment had a haunting and distracting smell in every room. At some point, I looked up. Instantly, I knew the source and the cause of my rapidly building headache. I have no idea how long things had been in the state that I found them in. In the moment, my full attention was on the alternatives at hand and what choice I would take in response. Life’s whispers took advantage of my distracted focus to share a few observations of her own.
I have limited control over my present moment. In freedom, I choose where I will be and when. I may invite others to be present. The rest of the moment, from the weather to the mood in the room and everything that follows, is out of my control! With unlimited freedoms in play, situations are created, imposed, and gifted to me. As I understand my role in the setup, I need to let go of controlling the larger story. The old reminder is still true. “Don’t be too upset when you see the poor kicked around, and justice and right violated all over the place. Exploitation filters down from one petty official to another. There’s no end to it, and nothing can be done about it.” (Ecclesiastes 5.8)
I control my response to my present moment. In my freedom, I have a choice. I often tell myself that I am being forced to make one choice versus another. With the benefit of hindsight and repeated life reminders, I am slowly learning that my response is just that, mine. As I looked at the ceiling, I felt no obligation or responsibility for what I was seeing and experiencing. I had no contact with the past, and those responsible for cleaning and taking care of business. My role in the moment was to respond.
Each response is a personal learning opportunity. I can accept my responsibility for my response and use the experience to see if I could have expressed my heart and soul more clearly. Today, I can put the lessons to use.
