Fighting the battles alone, struggling to survive when everyone's attention is elsewhere, and dealing with the demons that will not leave is a lonely position. We may not like it, but it is the reality of my day and most likely yours as well. Even if one does not succumb to the call of depression, it is a lonely fight.
Frequently, I am convinced that nobody can ever understand what it is like to be in my shoes. The situations continue to evolve rapidly around me, boiling up on the corners, and pushing the heart and emotions to precarious cliffs. I wonder if I am the only one facing these types of challenges, wondering if my fall will be noticed by anyone or thing.
When I stop, especially with the self-criticism and expectations, and look around I find something that I should have known from the beginning. People around me are facing problems that are far more difficult than I even imagine. The range of problems defies comprehension. The challenge to their personal values and priorities is, from my perspective, overwhelming. The risk to their families enormous! The answers are fleeting and often precarious.
I have no immediate answers on why bad things are happening to everyone I know. I would observe and note that when God came to live among us that He faced overwhelming waves of difficulties. His mother was a teenager who got pregnant mysteriously before her marriage was final. In a small village, I am sure the taunting label carried through for years. His father struggled to deliver products that met his customer's expectation, likely failing in spite of his care and attention. By worldly standards, God's mission did not produce the expected results before judgement came, death on a cross.
It is easy to feel that you are all by yourself. I send my love and prayer. “And here are some more greetings from our end.” (Romans 16.21) Cherry, Carli, and Whitney all send their love. Enjoy the New York lights and window scenes for us. God is with you.