“What have you done for me lately?”
As I mentally began compiling a list I realized that the person asking the question had a good memory. S/he could recount my points of success better than I could. There was a statement buried within the question.
I recently had a proposal partially approved. On the piece that was pushed back I was left with a question and a statement. Since that moment, I have been wrestling with both. In the past day, I realized that the model I was asked to use had a formulation error. If one corrected the formula, then the statement would have never been made. My colleagues suggested that I resubmit the proposal with the correct answer.
As I consider their suggestion, I realized I was missing the heart of the dialogue. The approver could not clearly see my proposal in context of the bigger picture. Regardless of the payback, net present value, or amazing financial calculation, s/he could not see the picture.
What have you done for me lately?
In my God conversation, I indirectly ask that question a lot. I do not intend to, but I do. In a tense moment, a friend asked me if I had asked God for help with the outcome. Even as I thought about it, I wondered aloud about the related, often unasked question. “God, what have you done for me lately?”
I found myself drifting into meditation and a state of prayer. I realized that I was not going to ask God to dictate the outcome of the battle. I was going to ask for forgiveness for my forgetfulness and greed. God is always with us. The Spirit is here to guide us. Divinity is in constant conversation and touch – if only we would let God touch our souls from the heart outwards. As I gave up my request to God and let silence wash over me, I found myself in David’s prayer; “That’s why I’m thanking you, God, all over the world. That’s why I’m singing songs that rhyme your name.” (Psalm 18.49)