Wants are interesting. I have come to think that there are two very different ends of the spectrum. On one side, there is the wants expressed by our window-shopping, impulse buying, and emotional responses to opportunities. In each, I along with others express our external wants. In my case, the impulse of desire becomes an imperative want. I must have it. My want is, as I rationalize the thought within my mind, really a need. As I look back, as intense as these feelings are, satisfying them is not really satisfying.
At the other end of the spectrum is the want of my heart. There is a thirst, a longing within for things that often go unexpressed. Even now, it is hard to dwell on the wants. I suspect that while we share some common hopes and dreams, there is a unique personalization that each gives to the thirst within. The thirst to be loved and to love is shared by all. The thirst to know that one belongs. The thirst of relationship with those one loves.
In an unexpected moment, I experienced the reward of doing what I know I am call to do. The moment was unscripted. I did not see it coming. As I let the moment sink in, I realized that I was on the verge of tears. The person I was talking to had no idea how profoundly his words were touching my heart. I found myself thinking of God and answered prayer, realizing that David’s words had played out in my life. “You gave him exactly what he wanted; you didn’t hold back.” (Psalm 21.2)
I am still not sure why the event occurred when it did. Given the events before and after, the timing was perfect! It was the voice of hope and assurance that I long for from my inside out. In contrast to my impulses, the wave of satisfaction and purpose still lingers.
I know I am thirsty. I hope I say yes to the ways Divinity is looking to quench the thirst for all her children.