Our conversation is just hours old. Even with little sleep, there are words swirling through my mind; already haunting places that I did not know existed. Someone I have never met before shared time that can never be replaced; searching for something she has not found and cannot describe. For most of the conversation I was a third party. The subjects were spinning fast, most of them idle chatter with little or no consequence. The turn came when I least expected it.
“You should have seen his eyes. They were the most amazing eyes that carried with them a power that almost overwhelmed me. He asked me if I believed and I did. He told me that Jesus accepted me just as I was and I knew it was true. The call to be baptized seemed natural yet I somehow knew or sensed that God would require me to radically change my life and I held back. I wanted to believe, but I just did not have the courage. I knew I could not change my life. I have never seen him since.”
Until then, the evening had been a fun time of conversation, stories, and occasionally insights. For me, in that one brief series of statements, the night had turned on a pivotal point and I could only throw the situation up to God with a prayer invoking the Spirit’s ongoing intervention.
“Sure, those people appear to be having a good time, but all that laughter will end in heartbreak.” (Proverbs 14.13)
Was the turning point lost? Did she have any idea of what was at stake? How could I tell her about God’s unconditional love? How could I explain that giving yourself up to God is a relationship that results in changes from the inside out that you will find difficult to explain. What can I do to show her that her only role or responsibility is to say yes, yes, and yes!
I woke this morning with one thought. Who was it that I say in the pivot; her, you, or me?