Beyond

Two conversations continue to play, again and again.  Even though the first instance placed me as the one enlightening others, in my mind’s replays I have taken on role of doubter, skeptic, and one truly confused.  The first conversation centered on God, Divinity’s nature, and proof of Divinity’s existence.  Two questions were extremely pointed.  What if I could utterly and completely prove to you God didn’t exist?  Where was God during the recent disaster?  The second conversation focused on a simple dilemma.  What is our role in this life?
 
I did provide answers to the questions at hand.  One was borrowed from a friend, the others founded in my experience in walking with the Spirit.  I don’t think my experience is unique.  I see God’s extended hand of friendship always present; God reaching out, passionately, resolutely, and without conditions.  Yet fears, doubts, and uncertainties creep in at the corners of my mind.  As the echo continues I find myself reaching back to each friend, hoping my hand and God’s will be accepted in the spirit in which it is offered. 
 
My reasoning is quite simple, there is at risk; “first they wouldn't believe, then they couldn't—again, just as Isaiah said: Their eyes are blinded, their hearts are hardened, so that they wouldn't see with their eyes and perceive with their hearts, and turn to me, God, so I could heal them.”  (John 12.39, 40)  The love filled with hope, compassion, and peace is just beyond their current step, yet it is available.  I can see how their journey has moments of Divinity in them but the bigger, awesome, and wonderful potential is just beyond. 
 
As I settled things in my mind the replays had caught me in a way I didn’t realize.  I too sit just short of what God offers.  I too have not fully grasped the extended hand.  I am as afraid, stubborn, and confused as anyone I know.  Yet the hope of what can happen in this moment remains – for you and for me!  Hope is here, now.  Accept, take, and eat.