Where am I? What, in the world, am I doing here, right now, this time and place? What is my real position?
I find the events that bring me to the point where I am asking these questions strangely humorous. Often it is a good event; an act of unexpected grace that triggers a surge of energy and new reflection. The surprise is usually the source, someone who does not carry any visible signs of spirituality or events with no moral weight in them. It is as if God is reaching out and participating in the events of everyday living.
As my journey becomes more integrated – who I am as a person becoming more consistent in the way I interact with family, friends, work, and play – the question of what guides me persist. “The very command [God’s] that was supposed to guide me into life was cleverly used to trip me up, throwing me headlong. So sin was plenty alive, and I was stone dead.” (Romans 7.12,13) Just when I think I am getting things together and running in good standing, I discover my real position – disaster!
There is a clear way out, if I take the time to listen and experience. God offers me Spirit and Word as guides. God took the initiative to clear my life of any barriers except my freedom of choice. There lies the problem, at least for me! I want to do things my way in my time. God gives me the freedom to choose and lets me experience the natural outcome of my frequent self-reliant choice. The outcome is always the same – disaster just waiting to get worse.
So where do I stand? Flat on my backside, unable to stand up if I am honest! The great news is that it does not matter that I am out of it. God has, is, and will do his thing knowing that these are the facts. Once I know my true position then good things can happen. I can reach out, grab God’s offer, and yell, scream, and live in freedom!