There are three people I care a lot about. Each has stumbled. At times, the outcome of the missed steps resulted in an abrupt fall. You could see that they were hurting, on the inside as well as the outside! On other occasions, it was slow motion being played out in real lives. The outcome was always the same. They are hurt and in need of attention. Things are damaged and in need of repair. I keep hoping they will learn. As I look at the past and present, I wonder about two sides of the same coin. One has turned the corner. I am not sure about the others.
Why did they trip at all? They were equipped to see. Metaphorically, an old reminder kept echoing in my head; “dear children: You know the Father from personal experience.” (1 John 2.13b) You know, yet you appear to willfully walk blind.
Why is it so difficult to learn? Will there ever be a time when the story does not repeat? You understand and yet you do not remember. The poor choices and mistakes repeat as if life is a needle stuck in a scratched groove of an old record.
When I look to the moment at hand, what can I do to help? I have no easy answers for the questions that circle within.
I know that it takes two to have a conversation. I know that if one gets to the point of not talking then there is no chance of the conversation every happening.
I understand that adults do not always make the right choices. I can only offer my insights. Unless they are wanted and useful, the offer remains what it always was and is – an offer.
I also know that I need to be present, engaged, and willing to make a difference. This may not be the ultimate answer. It is a step in the process. Even if my advice goes unused, the model of willingness, compassion, and support is an invitation into something more than what they have.
Steps are hard.