“Show your strength, God, so no one can miss it. We are out singing the good news!” Psalm 21.13
By the end of the day, my sinusitis was playing havoc with my head. Walking a straight line became difficult, the left ear wanted to be alone, and life was miserable. In the scheme of things my ailments are not cosmic or even relevant however they did bring home a God lesson.
Whom do I trust in this situation? Do I rely on my own power and abilities to work things out or others? How long do I let go? Do I have a covenant relationship with the person to whom I gave things up? If I ever recover, how do I say thanks?
I trust those with whom I have built an experiential trust bridge. Without this bridge, I may let go but I will not trust. Experiential trust comes from doing things together in ways where we share our values and decision processes and find mutual respect. Experiential trust is difficult to build, requires maintenance, and is easily destroyed or left to crumple through neglect. Experiential trust must be open and shared to work. Experiential trust is more about accepting what is than hoping what will be.
Self-reliance is a foundation stone for people in the current era. Self-reliance finds a home in many religions and belief systems. Self-reliance is ultimately about finding the god within. I believe that, for many of us, we become self-reliant because our image of God is one where we do not have or want experiential trust. Why put your faith in someone who is unfair, not trust worthy, or judgmental?
The combination of little trust and self-reliance means I let go but not completely. I am still working to be in charge. I rarely appreciate the work put in and often take credit for saving myself.
There is a way out!
God loves us unconditionally knowing that we are going to fail. Spending time to be in God’s grace will give me the experiential trust to walk in faith.